Succubus Heat CHAPTER 11

Cody asked the explicit question.Soif hes gone how did that happen?Hugh rubbed his eyes. He was summoned.Oh, shit, express Peter. His fun-in-the-sun joy disappe bed. He looked as grim as Hugh and me. That changes e very topic.I glanced between him and Hugh, steping as nave as Cody. Whats that mean exactly? Ive heard of summoning, nevertheless thats round it. I dont k this instant whatever specifics. I dont hit the sack anyone its happened to.Peter nodded. Me either, merely I know what it is. Basic each(prenominal)y, a powerful valet de chambre c any(prenominal)s and binds a demon to his or her give. That hu while can thus imprison and influence the demon.Like Marlowes Dr. Faustus .We every(prenominal) turned to stargon at Cody. Citing highbrow literary references was usu bothy my thing, non his.What? he asked, looking un simpleness able under our scrutiny. I had to read it in high school.I looked patronise at Peter. Okay, were immortal, and we could never even scra tch a demon. How could a human control one?Humans who exercise magic wield a different good-natured of power than immortals. Besides, from what Ive heard, those who summon demons often create help, explained Peter. He glanced at Hugh for confirmation.From an a nonher(prenominal) demon, the imp part.Whoa. Lets go back to the part ab prohibited controlling demons. What exactly is this human making Jerome do? asked Cody.Probably zero point, said Hugh. Or else just ab forthone would slang lay down him by now. My opine is hes just being hidden.Cody frowned. why? If youve got a pet demon, why not use him? Otherwise, whats the point?It all came to queerher now. To puff him aside of the picture, I said slowly. Thats it. The final piece in all this unearthly demon intrigue. Thats what all the mis imposingction was building toward.Right. Cedric gets rid of Jerome, and suddenly in that locations an opening in Seattle for a sunrise(prenominal) archdemon. And if Jerome doesnt retu rn short, they go a vogue get a new archdemon and reestablish the hierarchy hither. Hugh gestured to all of us. The status quo result resume.Lets stick to when he returns and not if, I said. And I dont recollect Cedrics behind it.Of course Cedrics behind it, said Hugh. Theyve been fighting over territory, right? You of all mess should know that.I shook my head, recalling Cedrics exasperation and Nanettes smug look. NoI think Cedrics being set up here. If you ask me, its Nanette whos behind it. I gave them a quick recap of my observations of her with both Cedric and Jerome.Hugh arched an eyebrow. Port push down Nanette? Shes hot, Ill give you that, solely shes not that strong.All the to a greater extent basis for her to mess with Jerome and Cedric. Shes been worried just about them dragging her into their turf war. Besides, if she combined her power with a human assailable of a summoningYeah, he admitted. She could maybe do itbut that doesnt mean she did. My moneys take over on Cedric.Wouldnt she get in trouble for that? asked Cody.Only if shes caught, said Peter.I sighed. And in the mean measure, this is bad for Jerome.Glad to collect your powers of stating the obvious didnt disappear with your shape-shifting, remarked Hugh.I shot him a gl be. I mean reputation-wise. Nanette told me lots of people go for been charge an eye on Jerome because of all the stuff thats gone down here-particularly with letting nephilim escape. They think he cant supporting control. Even if he surfaces tomorrow, Ive got to imagine that get summoned in the first place wont look good.It wont, agreed Hugh. In fact, thats the other reason I stopped by. A bunch of demons atomic number 18 having a meeting this night to talk about replacing him. Back room of the Cellar at seven.Wow, they move fast, said Cody.Its zipper official. Once word got out that Jerome was gone, every demon maneuvering for power moved in like that. Hugh snapped his fingers. I refrained from pointing ou t that all demons were maneuvering for power as a general rule. Theyre mostly just here to imprecate themselves-show how tough they are, cozy up to Grace and Mei. They might try to schmooze us a piffling, actually.Why? We dont confine any say in this, said Peter. He glanced between us all. Do we?No, but eventually someone from instruction will come here to size up the situation and will talk to us in their assessment. Everything plays a part. Those motivationing the position will strut around, show how they could solemnize this place in line, and put their bids in.Is Nanette passing to be at this meeting? I asked suspiciously.Yes, said Hugh, eyeing me. And so will Cedric.I eyed him right back. Im telling you, its not Cedric. Im certain of it.What, you have donuts with him for a week, and now you guys are BFF?No, but I know him correct than you do. And I think I understand Nanette better than you too, I shot back.So, you guys began Cody, a questioning note in his voice.Are yo u sleeping with Cedric? Hugh demanded. Are you compete both sides now?NoIt kind of sounds like it.You guys, repeated Cody.Look, I said, you just urgency to confide Nanettes innocent because you think shes hot.She is hot. For a demon.You guys yelled Cody. We turned to him. What about us?What about us? I asked.What are we? Codys face was pinched and worried. Like Peter, he no longer seemed that excited about his new freedom. Are we human?I opened my mouth to answer and then fell silent. I aboveboard didnt know. Hugh glanced at me and shrugged.Not exactly, said Peter. I think were kind ofin stasis. Were neither mortal nor immortal.We have to be one or the other, argued Hugh. Theres no purgatory equivalent to mortality.Peter shrugged. Hells quieten got the lease on our souls. Thats not sack to change, no matter who our archdemon is. Removing him from the equation have a go at its us off from the abilities we get with immortality, but thats temporary.But does it cut us off from i mmortality itself? asked Cody. Can we die?Silence fell.Shit, said Hugh.I think Peter consequence his lip. I had a mental picture he was at the end of his knowledge on this subject. I think theyd bring us back if we did.You think ? asked Cody incredulously.Peter threw up his fleets. I dont know This has never happened to me in the lead, approve? Maybe we are human. Maybe we can get sick. Maybe we can lose in a fight. Maybe Georginall get her period. I dont know, authorize?Whoa, I said, straightening up. What do you mean-Just stop it, all of you, exclaimed Hugh. Were not acquittance to figure any of this out right now. Just go to the meeting and notice out there. Grace and Mei are trying to manage things for now, and theyll know whats up. No point in panicking now.We sit down there, and I knew that despite his oral communication, we were all indeed panicking. My stomach was rolling, but this time, it wasnt a reaction to the severing of my amaze with Hell. This was born of p ure terror. When things were bad in my flavour-particularly afterwards solidification and I had broken up-there had been times when Id detest immortality. Death had sounded appealing. I honestly hadnt been able to fathom how I could endure the centuries to come and had envied the finite life spans of humans. But now? Faced with the idea that I could actually die? Suddenly, desperately, I valued to advert to my immortality with every scrap of my strength. Death was bleak, dark, and frightening. All the worlds dangers descended on me at once, all the things Id hitherto been able to ignore. car accidents. Electrocution. Bird flu. The world was no longer safe.If the vampires matt-up any such fears, they apparently decided it wasnt pass to get in the way of their last some eld as free men. They rose as one and made motions to allow for.Well, if Jeromes passage to get replaced with or without us, then theres no point sitting and moping, said Peter.We got cut off without warnin g, I told him. We could get reconnected to Hells circuit board just as suddenly, you know. Arent you a little scatterbrained about getting caught out in the sun?Theyre not going to make any decisions in the succeeding(a) five hours, said Peter brashly-too brashly, I thought.He paused a moment, his gaze be adrift to my window and the blue sky beyond it. There, in his dark eyes, I saw the tiniest, tiniest bit of longing. It occurred to me then just how lots he must have missed the sun these last thousand geezerhood or so. Like the rest of us, hed willingly sold his soul for immortality. Along with that, hed gotten superhuman strength and fastness in exchange for a dependency on blood, a denial of sunlight, and a job as a dispenser of fear and nightmares. I certainly had regrets about my hellish deal some days no doubt he did too. And maybe, despite his lax, overconfident attitude about the sun, he truly was certain of the risk of getting fried-and thought it was price it after a ll this time.He and Cody left, leaving me and a still bleak-looking Hugh. I gently touched the imps shoulder. Im sure thisll work out.He cut me a wry look. genuinely?I laughed softly. No, not really. Im just trying to make you whole tone better. I never realized before how much you liked yourwhat would you call it? Imp vision?This finally got him to grinning. You always thought of me as a paper pusher?Nah, no one uses paper anymore. Its all electronic.Not in Hell, he said, standing(a)(a) up. They kind of like cutting down forests.I followed him to the door. Well, hang in there, and Ill see you tonight.What are you going to do with your newfound freedom? he asked, hap on the doorknob.I frowned. What do you mean? This unhurt thing isnt quite the same for you and me as it is for the vampires.The look Hugh gave me then was genuinely amused and almost pitying. Georgina. Your shape-shifting and other abilities are fueled by human life. If you cant do those things, then you dont need the susceptibility-just like Cody and Hugh dont need blood. Cant you aroma it? The whole systems belike boot out off.I froze and almost stopped pinching for a moment-which might not have been so wise in my current state. What ?He laughed again. How could you have not considered that?Wellbecause I was more focused on the entire fabric of Seattles demonic hierarchy being unraveled. That and the possibility that we could all die. Inside, my mind was replaying his words over and over, like a record that kept skipping You dont need the energy, you dont need the energy I shook my head. I cant believe that. It isnt viable. Id wanted it for too long, the ability to be with someone without the dire side effects. It was one of those things you always longed for but knew, deep down inside, could never happen. Like lovable the lottery. Or, um, animate forever.Neither is a vampire going into the sun, said Hugh. Yet here we are. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. see about it. This is a once in a lifetime-er, eternity-chance.He set forthed to leave, and then something Id nearly forgotten about popped back into the forefront of my mind. Hugh? Did you get my message earlier? About the Canadian Satanists? After everything else, a few signs on the Space Needle suddenly seemed absurdly unimportant.Yeah, he said, with a grimace. They had a huge spectacle there, freaked people out. They made the news and got arrested. Not sure whatll happen now. The international thing makes it all interesting.Were you able to tell Jerome?No, couldnt get a defend of him-not surprising if that was near the time of the summoning. I ended up getting a hold of Mei, and I think she did something to minimize how much the media found out. She was hoping that nobody in Management would notice.Yeah, well, theyre all noticing us now.Hughs face was hard as he nodded his agreement. Thats an understatement. Have fun, sweetie.He departed, leaving me standing there and staring at the door.I was stil l breathing heavily, my heart thudding in my chest. I needed to calm down and think this through. After all, who knew what could happen if I had a panic besiege? Would I go into cardiac arrest or something? All bets were off now. Anything was possible.I sank down to the floor, wrap up my arms around myself, and focused on slowing my breathing. This was all too surreal. I couldnt process it. It wasnt possible that I could be mortal. It wasnt possible that I could die. It wasnt possible that I could actually touch a man without harming him. Over and over I told myself those things. Meanwhile, Aubrey strolled over to me and rubbed her head against my leg. Reaching out, I stroked her back, unless aware of my actions.What was I going to do? We had five hours until the meeting, which couldnt come soon enough as outlying(prenominal) as I was concerned. I needed answers now . I couldnt live with this uncertainty. My heart started racing again. Fuck. I really was going to have a heart at tack. Hugh was a doctor in his day job maybe I should call him about my blood pressure.CallAn idea hit me then, and I stood up to go find my purse. Producing my cell speech sound, I dialed Dante. If anyone might know about this, it would be him. He probably wouldnt know the intricacies of how this bear on my infernal standing, but he had to know something about demon summoning. Dark magic was his specialty. Besides, I wanted more than just his expertise. I suddenly just wantedwell, comfort. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to hold me and reassure me. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay.But the phone rang and rang without answer, sending me to his voice mails friendly message Talk.So much for that plan. I disconnected and leaned against my counter. Slowly, steadily, I felt my brain waking up, trying to find a scrap of reason through my fear. It wasnt in my character to be passive. I had to do something about this. I couldnt reckon until tonight for answers.Let s research this ourselves, Aubrey, I said. The average out human knew nothing about the true nature of Heaven and Hell and how we operated. Yet, every once in a while, if you looked hard enough into arcane writings, you could stumble a bad-tempered a piece of truth that some adept mortal had breaked. Ninety-nine percent of what Id find would be inaccurate, but an Internet search could uncover some grain of truth about demon summoning. It was a total long shot, but it was the topper I could do for now.Only, when I went to get my laptop, I discovered an unfortunate fact Id left it at the bookstore. I groaned. Now what? Another plan shot down.You idiot , a voice inside me chastised. Youre a few blocks away. Get off your ass and get it .That logic made perfect sense, of course. Until I looked out the window.The same fear Id had earlier returned. The cars moving along Queen Anne Avenue seemed too fast, the wind rousing the trees too strong, the people on the side notch too dangerous. How could I go out there? How could I put myself at risk? Better to substantiation in here where it was safe.And until nowhow could I clutches around? I was going to go crazy if I sat here. Glancing down at Aubrey, I saw her watching me with her green eyes. She had that infinitely wise look cats had sometimes. It wasnt exactly encouraging, but it soothed me a little.Okay. I could do this.I found my coat and started to shape-shift my messy fuzz into a neat arrangement-except, of course, I direct realized I couldnt shape-shift it. Not a problem, I assured myself. I did my hair all the time when I wasnt in a rush. This was no different. With a quick dash to the restroom, I brushed my hair into a sleek ponytail and prepared to face the world.Stepping outdoors, I was blasted with stimuli. I stood on the steps to my building, shell-shocked and ineffective to move. This had never happened to me. Never, never had I been afraid of the world. Id always rejoiced in it and been eager to se e what it had to offer. Slipping my hand into my purse, I reached for my cigarettes, seeking them like a safety blanket. When I took them out, I realized something else. I wasnt necessarily immune to them anymore. This stasis probably wouldnt last longbut how could I risk it? How could I expose myself to carcinogens when I had no idea how vulnerable I truly was?Putting the cigarettes back, I took a deep breath and plunged forward.The distance to the store was barely three blocks, but it felt like miles. I walked as uttermost-off away as I could from traffic and flinched each time someone passed me. When I finally reached the crossover to cross over to Emerald City, I was sweating. Queen Anne Avenue is not an overly crazy road. This particular space had three lanes and stabilize traffic, with a moderate speed of 30 (which meant people could usually be found going 35?C40).Nonetheless, standing there, I might as well have been trying to cross I-5 itself, with five lanes racing in each direction. The crosswalk was red, giving me time to build up fearlessness and remind myself that Id crossed here centurys of times-jaywalking more often than not. I was being irrational, freaking out at things I had no business worrying about. The light dinged and gave me the go-ahead.I set out, each step agony. Id almost reached the far curb when a Honda turning on red from the cross street suddenly pulled into the intersection, having only check into for cars and not pedestrians. Seeing me, the driver slammed on her brakes a bit more harshly than she probably needed. They squealed, and the car came to a stop about two feet from me. While moderately alarming, this wasnt anything that probably would have panicky me too much under ordinary circumstances. The car had stopped, after all, and I was almost across anyway. Yet, I was so on edge already that when I heard the brakes and saw how close she was, I simply froze. I stood there, caught-literally-in the headlights.I couldnt think or move. It was so stupid. Seven more steps, and I would have been safe. The womans panic over avoiding me turned to annoyance when she realized I was blocking her way. She pressed down on her horn, which was a particularly loud and obnoxious one. Unfortunately for her, it was ineffectual. If anything, the disturbance simply froze me up more.Suddenly, someone grabbed a hold of my arm and started tugging me to the curb. The bitch in the Honda kept honking, and I think I was nearly as startled by it as I was when exercise set yelled to her, Oh, shut up alreadyHis steady hands guided me to the sidewalk where I promptly froze up again, oblivious to the curious cars and pedestrians. Cupping my face, he forced me to look up at him. His eyes were like warm molasses, and something about them spread comfort through me and brought me back to myself.Georgina, are you okay?My whole body trembled, and it took me a moment to gather myself and speak. II think soHis voice was so, so gentle when he spoke. What happened there?I blinked back tears. Nothingthat is I couldnt finish. I was going to break down, then and there, right on Queen Anne Avenue. I hated myself for being so weak and scared.Never mind, said Seth, taking hold of my arm again. It doesnt matter. Youre safe. Lets go inside.If any of my co-workers saw Seth leading me through like an invalid, I didnt notice. In fact, I was barely aware of the trek at all until we were inside my office. Seth sat me down and then shut the door. He leaned down toward me.Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat?Slowly, almost robot-like, I shook my head. N-no. II just came for my laptop.The normal look of timidity hed worn around me lately had vanished, replaced by something knockout and concerned-something that wouldnt rest until he knew I was okay. He was no longer the shy author who feared looking at me and always gave me a wide berth. He was once again the man Id dated, the man whod always been able to read my moods and step up to help.Georgina, please. Please tell me what happened.It looked as though my tears were going to stay away, and now that I was indoors, in familiar territory, I allowed myself to feel a little sunnyr. Why are you being so nice to me again?He frowned. Why wouldnt I be nice to you?BecausebecauseI wasnt very nice to you the last time we talked. Even after you gave me the book.He made a noise in his throat, almost like a laugh, but not quite. You werent yourself, not after all those drinks. Its fine.I dont know, I said contrarily, maybe I was myself.He shook his head. It wouldnt matter. Now tell me, what happened out there?The warmth in his voice, the concernit was tearing me apart. There was something so familiar and safe about him that I longed for right now, and I couldnt evade him.Itscomplicated, I said at last.Immortal intrigue?I nodded, feeling tears well in my eyes again. Fuck. I think half of my emotion now was from the way he was looking at me and had nothing to d o with the rest of my lifes madness. I stood up and looked away, hoping he wouldnt see my face, but it was no use.Georgina, whats happened? Youre scaring me.I dared a glance back. Youyou wouldnt believe me if I told you.His face was still fill up with worry, but the hint of a smile turned up the edges of his lips. Can you seriously believe that after half the stuff Ive seen you go through? Try me.Fair enough, I admitted. But I dont want to get you involved.I want to help, he said, moving closer. His voice was like velvet, wrapping me up in softness and security. Please. Tell me whats going on.I wanted to tell him there was nothing he could do, but suddenly, words spilled from my lips.Jerome got summoned-which means hes trapped somewhere and-Whoa, wait. Summoned? Like in Dr. Faustus ?Um, yeah. And so long as hes gone, were all in this weird state. Peter calls it stasis. None of us have our pow-abilities anymore. I cant shape-shift. Hugh cant see souls. The only ones who are happy ab out this are the vampires because they can go in the sun again, whichll probably end up killing them. And if we dont find Jerome soon, someone else is going to take over here, and I really dont want that. And yetI really dont want to go another second like this either, being in this limbo. I want everything to go back to how it was.Seths face was unreadable as he regarded me for several heavy seconds. Finally, he said, Is itis it so bad going without shape-shifting?I shook my head and began to ramble further. Its not that. Its the fact that I may not be immortal anymore. I cantI cant handle that. Coming here was horrible. The walk from my apartment. Im afraid of everything. Its stupid. I mean, you guys-humans-get by all the time and dont think about it. But Im scared to leave the house. Scared of what could happen to me. And when that car didnt see me right away-fuck. I just froze. I was paralyzed. God, I feel like an idiot. I must sound crazy.At long last, a tear leaked out of the ecological niche of one eye, the final stamp on my weakness. Seth reached out and gently wiped it away. He didnt withdraw his hand when finished, though. He slid it to my shoulder and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest, swallowing back more tears as I sank into the protection he offered.Georgina, Georgina, he murmured, running his hand over my back. Its going to be okay. Everythings going to be okay.Those wordsthere was something so wonderful about them, simple as they were. When people are di varianted, others have an instinct to want to actually do something tangible to help-men in particular. And theres nothing wrong with that-often, its very much desired. But what a lot of people dont get is that sometimes, all thats needed is to hear those words Everythings going to be okay . Its enough to know that someones there, that someone cares about you. It isnt always about the next logical course of action.My next words, spoken into his Hong Kong Phooey shirt, came out mu ffled. I dont know whats going to happen. With any of this. Im so scared. I dont think Ive been this afraid since I thought Roman was going to kill me.Nothing will happen to you. You said yourself this wont last more than a few days. Just wait it out.I dont wait very well.He laughed and leaned his cheek against my forehead. I know you dont. Dont worry. Most of us do far more dangerous things than walk two blocks, and we survive just fine. Yeah, that car kind of sucked, but even still, nothing happened.Its two and a half blocks, I corrected. Not two.Right. I forgot that extra half one where the sharks and land mines are.I pulled away slightly so that I could look into his face. His arms stayed around me. I have to find Jerome, Seth.His smile faded. The worry returned. Georginaif you want to stay safe, going after him probably isnt the way to do it. You dont always have to take this stuff on yourself, you know. Let someone else look for him. Stay home.Thats the thingIm not sure anyone will be looking for him. Why would the other demons want him back? They want his territory. They arent going to be happy if hes found.Seth sighed. Great. Now Im the one worried about you leaving the house.Hey, I thought you said everything was going to be okay?Gotta be careful what I say. Eyes thoughtful, he reached up and smoothed some hair on the side of my head. Why are you so brave?I scoffed. Are you insane? Didnt you just witness my near breakdown?No, he said gently. Thats the thing. You are scared. You dont know whats going on or what could happen to you. Yet, in spite of that fear and uncertainty, youre going to carry yourself out there to hunt him down. No one else would do that, and you do that kind of thing all the time.Inexplicably, I flushed under his praise. I was only going to do a Web search.You know what I mean. I think youve got more courage than anyone I know-and whats truly amazing is that its so subtle, hardly anyone ever notices. You do so much, and it goes un seen. I wish I was that brave sometimes.You are, I said, growing progressively unsettled by our proximity. I also noticed then that he was still smoothing my hair back. What are you doing to my hair? Does it look bad or something?Your hair never looks bad. He dropped his hand sheepishly. Its justa little messier than usual.I brushed it fifteen minutes agoSeth shrugged. I dont know. Its just kind of frizzy, but thats probably normal. Theres a little humidity out.Frizzy? My hairs never frizzy.Georgina, he said wearily. Considering everything else going on, I dont think you need to worry about your hair being frizzy.Yeah, yeah. Youre right. I made a face. I just feel like I got a raw deal here. The vampires are having a non-stop party. Me? I somehow get bad hair. Not sure the energy break is really worth it.Seth tilted his head, face puzzled once more. Energy break?Yeah. Along with everything else, I preoccupied the need for life energy, so Im not-I stopped. The world stopped.I met S eths eyes, those beautiful golden-brown eyes that were filled with utter and complete shock as we both realized the full weight of what I had been about to say. His hold on me stiffened. The casual embrace suddenly became so much more. I was acutely aware of every place we were touching and exactly how much distance was between the places we werent touching. He felt warm, so marvelously warm, and every place he touched me tingled-not necessarily in a sexual way but in a Oh my God, its Seth way. My entire body was on full alert, waiting and watching-and hoping-for him to touch me more.He swallowed, eyes still wide. So you arentI mean you canYeah, I said, my own voice husky. Thats the theory, at least. I havent really tested itMy words faded off because they didnt matter. My relationship with Seth had been plagued with a hundred small problems, everything from communication to trust and the myriad details in between. And always, always underneath that had been the knowledge that we c ould never be physically close. Oh, wed been able to hug and do some kissing-there was even a fair tally of tongue we could get away with before my succubus hunger started stealing his life. But ultimate function? Sex? Making love? It was totally off-limits, and that denial had tortured both of us, no matter how much we talked about love being the most important part in a relationship.And nowhere we were. Those barriers were removed. I hadnt tested if my succubus stealing really was gone, but I didnt need to. I could feel it, as Hugh had said. The perpetual craving that always lurked within me was completely dormant. I could touch and kiss anyone without restraint. I could touch and kiss Seth. There was nothing standing between us now.Well, except for one thing.A knock sounded on my door. Georgina? Are you in there? Maddie called.It was like cold water in the face. Seth and I sprang apart. He backed toward the door, and I promptly sat down at my desk. My heart was power hammer ag ain. Damn it. I was going to have to talk to Hugh and get an anti-anxiety drug. Yeah, come in, I called.Maddie stuck her head in, surprise to see both of us. There you are, she said to Seth. I just got here and couldnt find you.Seth was still in shock. IyeahI saw Georgina was here and stopped byMaddie peered at me. You okay? You look a little worn out. Her eyes flicked to my hair and then back to my face. Did you just rout out up?Apparently, I no longer looked like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, which was something. I hadnt liked the way she eyed my hair. Well, not exactly. Its, uh, been a long day. I stumbled over my words. I was so flustered, I could barely string a coherent response together. Seths presence was like the sun, blatant me and warming me all over, and Maddie was making me feel guilty and dirty for enjoying that sun.Is everything okay with your family? she asked.My-oh, yeah, theyre okay. Still just a little crazy, but itll, um, pass. I stood and picked up the laptop, hoping I sounded casual and calm. I needed to get out before I said something stupid. As it was, I couldnt even make eye contact with Seth now. I really just came by for this.Maddie studied me a few seconds longer and must have decided I was more or less telling the truth. She relaxed and seemed oblivious to me trying frantically to get to the door.Hey, she said, I was thinking you might not need to go to California for beaches.Forwhat?Remember our conversation at Marks?Er, yeah. Miraculously, I did. The condo thing, when I told her I had a beach itch.I have the perfect resolving power Alki.Alki? asked Seth, confused.Its a secret. She winked at me. I thought that might be a good place to start looking. What do you think?Sure. Sounds great. Alki Beach was a region of West Seattle that stuck out into Puget Sound. While it was a far cry from a Cyprian beach, it was, well, a beach. And if agreeing that it was a good idea would get me to the door change And what about danci ng?Huh? What about it? I probably looked like a deer in the headlights again. This provoke state of mine didnt make for good topic-jumping.Teaching salsa. I mentioned it to Beth and Casey, and they were pretty excited.Oh. Yeah. Sure. I can do that. I was seriously about to agree to anything to escape.Her face lit up. Oh, thank you Is this week too soon? I bet we could get everyone together on, oh, Thursday.Sure, sure, thats fine. I was almost at the door.Oh, thank you Thisll be fun. Ill double-check the day with everyone and e-mail you. If something comes upI mean, I know youre under a lot of stressI waved it off. Its fine, really. Have a good night, okay?I put on a winning smile and quickly walked past both of them. As I stepped out the door, though, I glanced back and met Seths eyes. My smile faltered. A thousand messages passed between us, just as they used to when we were dating. Only this time, I wasnt sure what any of them were saying.I kept walking, suddenly realizing I had a lot more than mortality to worry about.